And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

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mei 1, 2019 7:36 pm
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It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. When the lights go out, it’s nobody’s business what goes on between two consenting adults. Say it in Russian! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared…

I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. I was all of history’s great robot actors – Acting Unit 0. 8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! We’re rescuing ya.

If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right.

That’s not soon enough! You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Shinier than yours, meatbag. Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV.

  1. I can explain. It’s very valuable.
  2. Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!
  3. Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”.

I love you, buddy!

Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? We’re rescuing ya.

  • Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused.
  • Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”.
  • Take me to your leader!

Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! Daylight and everything. Take me to your leader! Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. You can see how I lived before I met you.

Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want!

Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. I can explain. It’s very valuable. Leela’s gonna kill me. Kif might! Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat.

Yeah, lots of people did. I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. How much did you make me? A true inspiration for the children. Bender, being God isn’t easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket.

My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! Ow, my spirit! All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school!

I’m Santa Claus! Oh right. I forgot about the battle. Meh. There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain!

Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that or we walk! Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? It’s ‘cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

Can we have Bender Burgers again? It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.

Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love! Well, let’s just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it. It must be wonderful.

You are the last hope of the universe. I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! We’re rescuing ya. Oh dear! She’s stuck in an infinite loop, and he’s an idiot! Well, that’s love for you.

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