Hi, ik ben Reind Dooyeweerd

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In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. Well, then good news! It's a suppository. You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie!

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It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns.

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Bender?! You stole the atom. I suppose I could part with 'one' and still be feared… Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

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Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?

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You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites? Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! They’re like sex, except I’m having them! With gusto. No! The cat shelter’s on to me. Bender, you risked your life to save me! Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But […]

Of all the friends I’ve had… you’re the first.

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I wish! It’s a nickel. Ow, my spirit! In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms. Leela’s gonna kill me. What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso! Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets? Nay, I respect and admire Harold […]

Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.

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Who are those horrible orange men? And then the battle’s not so bad? But I’ve never been to the moon! Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music. Too much work. Let’s burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer. Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? […]

And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.

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It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. When the lights go out, it’s nobody’s business what goes on between two consenting adults. Say it in Russian! I suppose I could part with ‘one’ and still be feared… I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. It’s a T. […]

Kif might!

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That could be ‘my’ beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. Soothe us with sweet lies. Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Why would a robot need to drink? You’re going to do his laundry? Hey, you add a one and two zeros to that […]

Aww, it’s true. I’ve been hiding it for so long.

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No, of course not. It was… uh… porno. Yeah, that’s it. I found what I need. And it’s not friends, it’s things. Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To […]

It’s a T. It goes “tuh”.

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I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. File not found. It must be wonderful. You wouldn’t. Ask anyway! You’re going back for the Countess, aren’t you? Kif might! Morbo can’t understand his teleprompter because he forgot how you say that letter that’s shaped like a man wearing a hat. All I want is to be a […]

You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie!

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She also liked to shut up! Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love! Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon. But existing is basically all I do! Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the […]

Alright, let’s mafia things up a bit. Joey, burn down the ship. Clamps, burn down the crew.

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It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any […]

Bender, you risked your life to save me!

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In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? It’s ‘cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans! For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease […]

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