Hi, ik ben Reind Dooyeweerd

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In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. Well, then good news! It's a suppository. You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie!

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It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns.

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Bender?! You stole the atom. I suppose I could part with 'one' and still be feared… Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

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Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems.

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I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though! But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. When will that be? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Now what? I feel like I was mauled by […]

There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like!

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I’m Santa Claus! But existing is basically all I do! Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy. Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of ‘will’? Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel […]

The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.

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For example, if you killed your grandfather, you’d cease to exist! It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. You guys go on without me! I’m going to go… look for more stuff to steal! It must be wonderful. You’ll have all the Slurm you can […]

Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

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Well, then good news! It’s a suppository. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But I always really hoped. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? What are you hacking off? Is it my […]

It must be wonderful.

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With gusto. Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? I had more, but you go ahead. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock. Bender, we’re trying our […]

Professor, make a woman out of me.

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Bender, quit destroying the universe! So, how ‘bout them Knicks? I can explain. It’s very valuable. Can we have Bender Burgers again? Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. I’m Santa Claus! Hey, what kinda party is this? There’s no booze and only one hooker. I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more […]

Hello, little man. I will destroy you!

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I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! Five hours? Aw, man! Couldn’t you just get me the death penalty? Tell them I hate them. Leela, are you alright? You got wanged on the head. With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Ugh, it’s […]

Now what?

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No, just a regular mistake. Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree. Fry, we have a crate to deliver. Can I use the gun? Leela’s gonna kill me. Hello Morbo, how’s the family? Yep, I remember. They came in last at […]

You don’t know how to do any of those.

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Take me to your leader! One hundred dollars. Why would I want to know that? Tell her she looks thin. We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me! I’m sure those windmills will keep […]

I’m a thing.

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Our love isn’t any different from yours, except it’s hotter, because I’m involved. You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie! Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up […]

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